The Four Questions To Ask When Dating A Recovering Alcoholic

There are millions of people around the world that are either suffering from addiction or are in recovery from alcohol addiction. It’s one of the most common illnesses on the planet, with it believed there are around 300 million people worldwide with alcohol problems.

So when it comes to dating, it’s not entirely out of the question that you may encounter someone who is in recovery from alcoholism.

For many people, that can be daunting. After all, the last thing you want to do is push them over the edge and into relapse.

However, that isn’t something you should fear, but rather begin to understand and ask questions about, so that if you do have a real connection with this person, the relationship can blossom.

So, what are the questions you should ask them to understand a little bit more about your prospective partner’s recovery?

How long have you been sober?

Naturally, one of the first questions you should be asking someone who has suffered from addiction and is now in recovery is how long they have been sober for.

That’s largely because it’s important to know where they are in their journey. Alcohol detox is hard, and if they are at the very beginning of their journey, they’re going to need much more support and care than they are five or 10 years into their journey, for example.

While that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t date someone who is in early stages of recovery, it does mean you may have to support in different ways, and that’s important to know.

What’s your dating history?

What can be useful to know is how their addiction may have previously affected past relationships. This should be handled delicately, as someone who is actively in recovery is a very different person to the one that was under the influence of alcohol.

What you may find is that they have learned lessons from previous mistakes during the period where they were suffering from addiction and actually they’re in a much better position to be in a relationship.

Are you in a recovery program and what do you need from me?

Understand how they are maintaining their recovery and what they potentially need from a partner to aid that. Support is always valuable for alcoholics in recovery and you should discover what level of support they need from you.

That’s just as important for you, as you need to know the levels you will have to commit and whether you have the ability to do that.

Are you ready for a relationship?

The big question to ask is if someone is ready for a relationship. That’s the same for everyone. However, that’s especially the case for someone in recovery. Naturally, relationships bring their own stresses, it’s part and parcel of being in a relationship. But are they going to be able to cope with that?

Equally, if someone needs to focus on their recovery, they may not be ready to fully commit, with their main focus needing to be elsewhere. So you need to know that before you go all in and commit too.

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